Rewriting the Center of Your Love Story

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

What’s Healthy is Considered Unconventional

In my former life, I believed that an unconventional relationship was impossible, and I felt guilty for wanting something outside of the normative, prescriptive path. Maybe I didn’t actually want to be married, or maybe I wanted be married but not live together. I certainly didn’t want kids, and I absolutely wanted to explore and experience the world on my own. Most partners would be threatened by many of those desires because they have built a life around their counterpart — and if their person wants time alone or to have deep and meaningful relationships with others, those desires are in direct opposition with the expectation of constant centrality.

Creating Freedom and Fullness


If you create your own reality, and I believe that we all have the ability to do so, then the first step is to assess yourself honestly and without any judgement. Turn inward, pay attention and get curious as to how you’re feeling about the various aspects of your life. What areas are feeding you, and which ones are depleting you?

Resource Assessment

Next, write out what you’ve observed. Then, jot down all of the people, hobbies and experiences that bring you joy, freedom and fulfillment. Make two columns next to those, and in the first column, assign each of them a number from 1–5 (5 being the highest) to denote how much you invest yourself in each one. In the second column, rank their importance to you. Compare the difference between the two columns.

Prioritization of the Self

The line items that are most important to you, based on that second column, should be the areas in which you invest yourself most in order to ensure your mental, emotion, and even physical or spiritual health. If you’re not, consider how vibrant your life might be if you did.

Let Love Flow In

You are meant for more than the promise of a fairytale with a singular focal point.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Kelly Campbell

Kelly Campbell


Trauma-informed Conscious Leadership Coach, helping creative + tech leaders develop self-awareness, cultivate team trust and lead fully integrated lives.